If you don't know the answer, make your best guess. Answer all the questions before looking at the answers.
Who said it?
1) "We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good."
A. Karl Marx
B. Adolph Hitler
C. Joseph Stalin
D. None of the above
2) "It's time for a new beginning, for an end to government of the
few, by the few, and for the few...and to replace it with shared
responsibility for shared prosperity."
A. Lenin
B. Mussolini
C. Idi Amin
D. None of the Above
3) "(We)...can't just let business as usual go on, and that means
something has to be taken away from some people."
A. Nikita Khrushev
B. Jose f Goebbels
C. Boris Yeltsin
D. None of the above
4) "We have to build a political consensus and that requires people to
give up a little bit of their own...in order to create this common
ground."
A. Mao Tse Dung
B. Hugo Chavez
C. Kim Jong Il
D. None of the above
5) "I certainly think the free-market has failed."
A. Karl Marx
B. Lenin
C. Molotov
D. None of the above
6) "I think it's time to send a clear message to what has become the
most profitable sector in (the) entire economy that they are being
watched."
A. Pinochet
B. Milosevic
C. Saddam Hussein
D. None of the above
Answers:
(1) D. None of the above. Statement made by Hillary Clinton 6/29/04
(2) D. None of the above. Statement made by Hillary Clinton 5/29/07
(3) D. None of the above. Statement made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/07
(4) D. None of the above. Statement made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/07
(5) D. None of the above. Statement made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/07
(6) D. None of the above. Statement made by Hillary Clinton 9/2/05
Be afraid. Be very, very afraid!
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
America the Unselfish
Got this in an email...some very good stories:
Yes, we're an imperfect country...and some of the media delights in that, pointing it out to us repeatedly. But here's a pleasant read about America and our unselfish motives around the world. Enjoy.
***************
When in England at a large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of empire building by George Bush.
He answered by saying, "Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return."
It became very quiet in the room.
**************
Then there was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break one of the French engineers came back into the room saying "Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?"
A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: "Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck.. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?"
Once again, dead silence.
***************
A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, 'whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.' He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?'
Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied 'Maybe its because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German'
You could have heard a pin drop!
Yes, we're an imperfect country...and some of the media delights in that, pointing it out to us repeatedly. But here's a pleasant read about America and our unselfish motives around the world. Enjoy.
***************
When in England at a large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of empire building by George Bush.
He answered by saying, "Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return."
It became very quiet in the room.
**************
Then there was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break one of the French engineers came back into the room saying "Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?"
A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: "Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck.. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?"
Once again, dead silence.
***************
A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, 'whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.' He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?'
Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied 'Maybe its because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German'
You could have heard a pin drop!
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Bragging Doctors
I got this in an email today and just had to post it...enjoy!
A Japanese doctor says, "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him out looking for work in six weeks."
A German doctor says, "That's nothing. We can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him out looking for work in four weeks."
A British doctor says, "In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have both of them out looking for work in two weeks."
The American doctor, not to be outdone, interjected by saying, "You guys are way behind. We are about to take a woman with no brains and half a heart, and send her to Washington where she will become President, and then half the country will be looking for work in one week!"
A Japanese doctor says, "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him out looking for work in six weeks."
A German doctor says, "That's nothing. We can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him out looking for work in four weeks."
A British doctor says, "In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have both of them out looking for work in two weeks."
The American doctor, not to be outdone, interjected by saying, "You guys are way behind. We are about to take a woman with no brains and half a heart, and send her to Washington where she will become President, and then half the country will be looking for work in one week!"
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Monday, October 8, 2007
Terrorist Alerts of Western European Nations
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz began in 1940 and tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued "A Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.
It 's not only the English and French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.
It 's not only the English and French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Someone Is Stealing Money Out Of My Paycheck, And I Think It's The Government
Have you ever bothered to calculate how much money the government actually takes out of your paycheck per year in taxes? Well I did, and I think you should too, because it will totally change the way you think about how this country should work. I was looking at my pay stub today, and noticed that I get a dickload of money taken out in taxes every week. Approximately $440 dollars is the amount of that weekly dickload. That's a pretty big dickload, isn't it? I mean, I always look at my pay stub to see if there's anything unusual on it, but I never actually bothered to compare the amount of taxes I pay to how much I'm left with afterwards. I was bored, so I thought to myself, "I wonder what percentage of my total pay Uncle Sam takes from me per year?" I did some calculations, and I figured out that the government takes 34.288% of my paycheck per year. Holy shit! HOLY SHIT! That's a lot of money...MY fuckin' money! I didn't give them permission to take that much money from me! No one from the government ever came to me and said, "Ok, Chris, we're gonna take about 35% of your paycheck, and you can keep 65%...is that cool with you?" Where the hell does my 35% go? I'll tell you where it goes. It goes to old and broken social programs, like welfare. The fact that we still have a welfare program is just fuckin' insane...and socialist! Really...the welfare program is socialism at its best. They take your money without asking you and give it to poor people who are too lazy/stupid/drugged out/etc. to go get a job or stay in school. All the bleeding heart weenies out there try to fool themselves by saying that it's not the welfare recipients' fault that they live in a ghetto or a trailer park and they have no money or job. Oh really? It's not their fault? Well who's fault is it? Mine? My parents'? My dog's? I don't know these fuckin' people on welfare, and it's not my fault that they turned to drugs or gangs and dropped out of school and just became waste products. Why should I, or any other hard working American have to bear the burden of stupid peoples' mistakes by having part of our tax money go to the welfare program? We shouldn't have to...it's ridiculous! If you're stupid enough to think that it's a good idea to drop out of school and join a gang, or to start making heroin use a daily festivity with your friends, then it's your own fuckin' fault that you're poor and have no job. Go fuck yourself!
People's response to cutting off welfare is usually, "Oh how could you do that to them...that's so mean...we'd have tons of homeless people running around if you cut off welfare." Well...we don't have to have tons of homeless people running around if we cut off welfare...because I have a solution. First, we kick out all of the illegal immigrants. Second, we convert all welfare offices and employees to the JET Force (Job Enforcement Task Force). Since the JET Force is just all the welfare system employees under a different name, they'll have the records of where all welfare recipients live. So, we send JET Force officers (oh by the way, creating the JET Force also creates new jobs, because we'll need officers to actually do the enforcing) to the welfare recipients' houses, and we grab them by the ears and drag them out of their houses and give them the jobs that all the illegal immigrants we kicked out used to have. It makes more sense to have a legal US citizen mowing my lawn than an illegal one. Since all these welfare recipients will have jobs, we won't have to pay them my money and your money in the form of a welfare check anymore. We can cut off welfare, and keep that money for ourselves to spend and invest. But of course, that will never happen because everyone in America has turned into a bleeding heart pussy. "It's too mean," everyone will say. "You'll hurt the illegal immigrants feelings if you kick them out," they'll say. "The welfare recipients have been out of the workforce for too long, and they won't be able to do a good job at work," they'll say. You know what I say? Fuck off, grow a pair, stop bein' a fag, and start making people take responsibility for their own actions and their own lives.
Wow...sorry for that rant about welfare...I don't know how I got into that when I only wanted to rant about high taxes. Soooooo yeah...taxes. I was gonna talk about that. Well they're too high. They should only exist to pay for public works projects (roads, water mains, bridges, etc.), military and government officials' salaries, and fighting global Islamic terrorism. Making me pay for things like welfare is just unacceptable (sorry...couldn't help but mention that again). We should also migrate to a flat income tax of 10% for everyone...none of this tax bracket nonsense. If the government cut spending on unnecessary programs (like welfare) and made a 10% flat tax, then all of us would actually get to keep more of the money we work hard for so that we can invest it in things. If all Americans had more money to invest and spend on things, the economy would become stronger because there would be more money circulating around the country at a more steady and healthy pace. But as usual, this makes way too much sense, so the government will never do it. They'll just keep taking our money and spending it on stupid things. And if Hillary Clinton should ever become president (God forbid), you can kiss even more of your money good-bye. That 34.288% will skyrocket to 50% or more. That's how she'll pay for her "universal health care" nonsense. My grandparents went up to Canada on a trip last week (they have universal health care up there), and were shocked when they got a glass of cheap wine and it cost $18. They noticed on their bill that the sales tax was 14%. When they asked the waiter why it was so high, he said it's because that's how their government pays for the universal health care plan...they raised the sales tax to 14%. I saw a Canadian commercial on YouTube one time that was making fun of how high their taxes are, and it said their income was being taxed to the tune of somewhere around 60% when they included all the government programs that needed to be paid for. That's just evil. So Hillary wants us all to pay for each other's health care like in Canada? Yeah, fuck that. I also read today that she wants to give every newborn baby in America a $5,000 savings bond, so that the family can save it and let it earn interest to help pay for college, yet she has no plans for actually enforcing that it be used for college. This plan would cost $20 billion in its first year alone. You know who pays that $20 billion? Yep, you guessed it. Me and you...Joe Taxpayer. If you vote for her, I hope you're an extremely generous person, because every 30 seconds, when a baby is born in America, your bank account will be taking a hit to pay for those $5,000 savings bonds. I love how she just wants to take our money and hand it out to everyone. Gee, I wonder if she's a socialist? Whatever...I'm not trying to blatantly persuade anyone to vote one way or the other...I'm just trying to prepare you ahead of time for how much money you aren't going to have if Hillary Clinton becomes president. I'll say it one more time so it sinks in...take my word for it...if Hillary Clinton becomes president, taxes will be so high that you will have considerably less money to freely spend than you do now. If you're gonna vote for a democrat...fine...but for the sake of our taxes...don't vote for her.
People's response to cutting off welfare is usually, "Oh how could you do that to them...that's so mean...we'd have tons of homeless people running around if you cut off welfare." Well...we don't have to have tons of homeless people running around if we cut off welfare...because I have a solution. First, we kick out all of the illegal immigrants. Second, we convert all welfare offices and employees to the JET Force (Job Enforcement Task Force). Since the JET Force is just all the welfare system employees under a different name, they'll have the records of where all welfare recipients live. So, we send JET Force officers (oh by the way, creating the JET Force also creates new jobs, because we'll need officers to actually do the enforcing) to the welfare recipients' houses, and we grab them by the ears and drag them out of their houses and give them the jobs that all the illegal immigrants we kicked out used to have. It makes more sense to have a legal US citizen mowing my lawn than an illegal one. Since all these welfare recipients will have jobs, we won't have to pay them my money and your money in the form of a welfare check anymore. We can cut off welfare, and keep that money for ourselves to spend and invest. But of course, that will never happen because everyone in America has turned into a bleeding heart pussy. "It's too mean," everyone will say. "You'll hurt the illegal immigrants feelings if you kick them out," they'll say. "The welfare recipients have been out of the workforce for too long, and they won't be able to do a good job at work," they'll say. You know what I say? Fuck off, grow a pair, stop bein' a fag, and start making people take responsibility for their own actions and their own lives.
Wow...sorry for that rant about welfare...I don't know how I got into that when I only wanted to rant about high taxes. Soooooo yeah...taxes. I was gonna talk about that. Well they're too high. They should only exist to pay for public works projects (roads, water mains, bridges, etc.), military and government officials' salaries, and fighting global Islamic terrorism. Making me pay for things like welfare is just unacceptable (sorry...couldn't help but mention that again). We should also migrate to a flat income tax of 10% for everyone...none of this tax bracket nonsense. If the government cut spending on unnecessary programs (like welfare) and made a 10% flat tax, then all of us would actually get to keep more of the money we work hard for so that we can invest it in things. If all Americans had more money to invest and spend on things, the economy would become stronger because there would be more money circulating around the country at a more steady and healthy pace. But as usual, this makes way too much sense, so the government will never do it. They'll just keep taking our money and spending it on stupid things. And if Hillary Clinton should ever become president (God forbid), you can kiss even more of your money good-bye. That 34.288% will skyrocket to 50% or more. That's how she'll pay for her "universal health care" nonsense. My grandparents went up to Canada on a trip last week (they have universal health care up there), and were shocked when they got a glass of cheap wine and it cost $18. They noticed on their bill that the sales tax was 14%. When they asked the waiter why it was so high, he said it's because that's how their government pays for the universal health care plan...they raised the sales tax to 14%. I saw a Canadian commercial on YouTube one time that was making fun of how high their taxes are, and it said their income was being taxed to the tune of somewhere around 60% when they included all the government programs that needed to be paid for. That's just evil. So Hillary wants us all to pay for each other's health care like in Canada? Yeah, fuck that. I also read today that she wants to give every newborn baby in America a $5,000 savings bond, so that the family can save it and let it earn interest to help pay for college, yet she has no plans for actually enforcing that it be used for college. This plan would cost $20 billion in its first year alone. You know who pays that $20 billion? Yep, you guessed it. Me and you...Joe Taxpayer. If you vote for her, I hope you're an extremely generous person, because every 30 seconds, when a baby is born in America, your bank account will be taking a hit to pay for those $5,000 savings bonds. I love how she just wants to take our money and hand it out to everyone. Gee, I wonder if she's a socialist? Whatever...I'm not trying to blatantly persuade anyone to vote one way or the other...I'm just trying to prepare you ahead of time for how much money you aren't going to have if Hillary Clinton becomes president. I'll say it one more time so it sinks in...take my word for it...if Hillary Clinton becomes president, taxes will be so high that you will have considerably less money to freely spend than you do now. If you're gonna vote for a democrat...fine...but for the sake of our taxes...don't vote for her.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Things That Happened While You Were Busy Worrying About Paris Hilton Being in Jail
- You lost your virginity to Nick Lachey (girls)/Jessica Biel (guys)....although I don't know what guy would worry about Paris Hilton besides a gay guy...in that case...Nick Lachey.
- Lindsay Lohan finally stopped doing drugs and is becoming a nun.
- We finally nuked the Middle East, and have completely gotten rid of all those pesky terrorists.
- You mysteriously got herpes...in your nose.
- Britney Spears finally revealed why she acts so crazy...it's because she's a crab person.
- Someone finally figured out how to end Lost.
- That slice of pizza you left on your desk last week grew limbs and genitals and had sex with the half-eaten donut in your garbage to make a race of super pizza-donuts called ponuts that now comprise 40% of the population of America and are demanding social security benefits.
- We invented flying cars and light speed engines, and now travel around the galaxy like in Star Wars.
- iPods went out of style...and carrying an oversized boom-box on your shoulder came back in style.
- Jesus finally came back to Earth, said what's up, and then left in a hurry after he saw Rosie O'Donnell's face on the news.
- Global warming was determined to be hoax created by two third graders in Montana.
- Scientists found a cure for cancer and AIDS...but unfortunately couldn't find one for that herpes in your nose.
- Aliens came down to Earth and gave you an anal probe...and then Scott Baio gave you pink eye.
- The dramatic chipmunk/squirrel won an Oscar for his role in the remake of Gone with the Wind.
- Paris Hilton DIED!
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