The Gypsy Carts at the Mall

So me and my brother, Kevin, were walking around Paramus Park mall yesterday to get our dad a birthday present. As you all know, most malls in America have the center of their corridors lined with those litter carts where people sell cheap jewelry, cell phone accessories, hair products, and other useless crap...I like to call them "gypsy carts." We walked past one of those gypsy carts that had four really hot girls standing around it. I knew that if I violated the number one rule for not being bothered by one of the gypsy cart people (which is to not make eye contact), that we'd be screwed. But since one of the girls was wearing this really really short skirt...actually, I wouldn't even call it a skirt...it was more like a sk, maybe even just an s...I couldn't help but look. Sure enough she caught me, and snagged me and Kevin by asking us how old we were. Then she rambled on about some sort of free modeling contract audition, but I didn't catch it all because she had an accent. We said no and just walked away. I should have told her that since I'm so hot, it wouldn't be fair to the other applicants if I applied because they'd have no chance. Then some other gypsy cart lady tried the old "excuse me would you like to try this hand cream" bit. Kevin's answer was hilarious, yet provocative. He said, "No thanks, we're kinda busy." I couldn't stop laughing because all we were doing was walking...in no way did we look busy or in any sort of a hurry.

So I have a message for all you gypsy cart gypsies. LEAVE US THE FUCK ALONE!!! If we want to buy something from your little cart...we'll come ask you. Don't try to lure us in with hot girls in sk's, or annoying ladies that jump out from behind the cart like ninjas and try to get you to "try this amazing hand cream" or this "amazing herbal heating pad" or the "magic wrinkle getter-outer for clothes." If I think the stuff on your cart looks interesting, then I'll come poke around. If it doesn't, then I'm going to keep on walking...and being busy. Any business school will tell you that hassling passers-by to no end is not a good business model...all it will do is drive people away because you're being annoying. I shouldn't have to walk through the mall staring at the floor or at the store windows, and risk slamming into the fat Mexican lady pushing a baby carriage full of 6 screaming babies because I'm not looking in front of me, just to avoid eye contact with you so I don't have to hear your shitty sales pitch. I would love nothing more than to drive a monster truck down the center of the mall and crush all of your stupid gypsy carts.